Once a Mennonite…

As Ryan and I continue to “run our race”, we are becoming more and more aware of the practical ways that God provides for us.  One of the most recent manifestations of His provision came through a member of our church family.  Knowing that we have been hosting a group of 25-40 young adults in our home for lunch almost every Sunday, He wanted to help. Through a connection, he was able to get us a side of beef at a mere fraction of the regular cost!   



When the offer came, we knew we couldn’t turn it down.  Unfortunately… we didn’t have a deep freeze.  How would we store all that meat?  Well, God provided for that need too.  Shortly thereafter we were given a deep freeze… for free!  It’s a small deep freeze, but it is the perfect size for our little house.  Not to mention that it is basically the perfect size for all of the meat… but not for much else! 



When I came home with the beef this afternoon, it felt almost as if I was playing a game of Tetris as I tried to fit everything into the freezer.  Only a few items were unable to make it back in—one of which was a ham bone that I’d been saving for a while.

The ham bone had been left over from a Sunday lunch at our house.  I hadn’t dared to throw it away.  I remembered back to a family gathering many years ago.  My mom and all of her sisters were in the kitchen preparing the Christmas meal.  All of a sudden, a panic broke out when someone noticed that the ham bone had gone missing!  To the Friesen sisters’ shock and absolute horror, it was found in the garbage can only a few moments later.  Almost nothing could be more taboo! 

The scene was burned in my memory!  I’d never made soup out of a bone before, but I felt that throwing it away would be a disgrace to my Mennonite heritage!  What would my aunties think?!  If word got out, I wouldn’t be able to show my face around them anymore!   

So, tonight I got in touch with my roots. Since that ham bone wasn’t going to fit back in the freezer, I decided it was time to follow in my mother’s footsteps.  She’s a master soup-maker, you see.  It always amazed me that she could take a pot of water, and an animal bone, and somehow—as if by magic—create a mouthwatering meal!  Well, tonight it was my turn!

After a bit of over-the-phone-coaching from the master, a few hours of simmering, and a delightful taste-test, I am pleased to announce that my ham bone soup was a complete and utter success!   If only my mom and aunties were here to taste my original creation… I think they would be very proud!

Once a Mennonite… always a Mennonite.

Bids me come and die…

Over four years ago I came to a cross-roads in my life.  I had been running from God for years, and living a meaningless life, full of addictions, heart ache, and isolation.  In particular, I’d been struggling with an eating disorder for some seven years, and the future looked utterly hopeless.  I felt alone.  I felt empty.  I felt like I could never be anything but what I was; and what I was sickened me.

It was here, in the depths of despair, in the hopelessness of what I had become, where God met me.  It wasn’t that I hadn’t known Him before, only that I’d refused to know Him in more recent years.  But my refusal to love Him never incited Him to refuse his love to me.

In the months following, I began to see my life change.  Old patterns were being broken; old ways of life began to shift.  I started letting go.  The eating disorder which had been my best friend, and worst enemy, for all these years, became a thing of the past.  For so many years, I allowed it to live, and breathe and thrive inside of me.  But in those months following what you could call my “conversion experience”, I realized that I didn’t need it anymore.  So I pulled the plug.  I allowed it to die.

Tonight, as I reflect on that time in my life - those days of revival and the victories that ensued - I begin to wonder why I can’t experience that kind of freedom again.  I no longer suffer from an eating disorder, or the types of addictions that controlled my life for so many years.  To be sure, I have been set free from a great many demons. Yet, in many ways, I am still enslaved.

These past few weeks I have been drowning in emotions.  Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, dissatisfaction.  And in the midst of it all, Christ has begun a work in me.  One that I do not feel at all prepared for, or in any way capable of enduring.  And yet, He has seen fit to lead me into this process of death.  Death to self. 

In Luke 9:23-24, Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” 

I can sense the call… the call from my Lord and Savior, bidding me to die.  Asking me to let go of it all, leave the world behind, and follow Him completely.  And yet I am so afraid.  So often I am so comfortable in my pain.  In the same way that I was comfortable in my eating disorder for so many years, I have now found a safe haven, here within my loneliness and discontentment. 

And I have wondered… if I could overcome an eating disorder and so many other chains that gripped and bound me for all those years, why not this?  Why are my emotions still running my life?  I try and I try, but I constantly fail.  I do well for a week, manage to put on my smile and face the world… and then I fall apart, and find myself wallowing in bed for a day, wishing things were different.  Why have my attempts fallen short?  I have Jesus in my life now… shouldn’t it work this time?  I try so hard, but I always find myself facing defeat.  What am I doing wrong?

Kyle Idleman, author of “Not a Fan”, says this: “It’s not about trying every day. It’s about dying every day.”

It comes down to this: I will always fail if I keep trying to deal with my unruly emotions.  They are uncontrollable and disobedient.  The Bible says that “the heart is deceitful above all things.”  Mine is the prime example of such.  And the reality is that my emotions cannot be dealt with at a human level.  Sin cannot be dealt with at a human level. That is why we need a Savior.

Sin will run my life until I let it die.  It has to die.  Trying to overcome it will never work.  Trying doesn’t overcome sin. Dying overcomes sin.

Peter tells us that “[Jesus] himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.”  Jesus died, so that my sins could die, allowing me to finally live. 

Please help me let my emotions die, Lord. If I don’t, they will kill all the good you are growing inside my life. I beg of you to show me how to do this, and to hold my hand in each moment of death. I desperately need you.  Help me to die, that I may truly live.

My Aslan

“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

-C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

Sometimes I wonder…

I wonder… did Jesus ever have earthly dreams of the things He could accomplish here if He’d had more time? Did He ever think “but I could save so many more people and impact so many more lives if I stayed here longer”? It’s amazing how unwavering His trust was in His Father’s perfect plan.

It must have been so hard for Him to go to that cross. Not only because He was about to die an excruciating and humiliating death, and bear the weight of the world’s sin. But also because He was about to leave the people He loved SO much – the people He came to save. It must have broken His heart.

It gets harder and harder for Ryan to leave Lloydminster every time he goes away on tour, even though he knows he’s leaving to do something so meaningful. But he has so much love for the people he has been sent to serve here in this community that it hurts him to leave, even when it is time to go.

When it came time to go, I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for Jesus to “walk away”. Of course, He wasn’t really walking away. But in His humanness, it must have felt like that sometimes. He must have been tempted to experience the guilt of leaving His children behind. We know Satan was pulling out all the stops to try to ruin the master plan, so I imagine that was one of the darts he threw.

These reflections also make me realize that Jesus must have had SO much trust in His disciples that they would obey Him and continue the work that He could not stay to complete. He had another work to complete, after all.

He had so much trust that the people would not all walk away. That somehow, the good news would go forward, and the message of what He was about to accomplish on the cross would not be lost. He must have caught a glimpse of the span of time, and seen all the hands into which the gospel message would fall; even mine. And He must have trusted me (evidenced by the fact that He chose to die) believing, and even knowing, that we—His people, His church, His body, His hands and feet—would not let Him down.

He is the ultimate example of trusting in God’s plan. The ultimate example of obedience to do the hardest thing even when other ways seem good. The ultimate example of faith. That He would even have faith in me to carry on His work.

What an incredible honor. I only hope I can live up to it.

Mange Tak, Danmark!

I’ve been home from Europe for just over one week now, but I certainly have not found time to fully “recover” yet.  We came home to a flurry of activity, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down!  And yet, we are so grateful!  We’ve been given so many amazing opportunities to serve our amazing God, and for that, we feel truly blessed!

But as much as I am happy to be home, I have been missing Denmark deeply!  One night this week I watched Youtube clips of “Denmark’s Got Talent” and “X-Factor (Denmark)” just to listen to people speaking Danish again.  During the afternoons I played the beautiful Danish worship song, “Foran Tronen”, on repeat as I worked.  Denmark, I miss you!  Jeg savner dig! (… is that right??? I’m practising!)

In closing, all I can really say is mange tak, Danmark!  Thank you for welcoming us into your country, not once, but twice!  Thank you for all the fun we had, all the friends we made, and all lives we were able to impact!  Your beautiful country, and all of its wonderful people, will be in my prayers.

Mange Tak, Danmark.  I hope to see you again soon!

Ministry Update, Final Week

Blegdammen Fængsel (Prison) ─ København, DK
(Monday, January 23)

We had an awesome experience at  Blegdammen Prison!  We set up for the concert right at the end of the main floor hallway, with three levels of cells lining the walls around us.  Just before show time we watched as all the inmates carried their chairs out of their rooms, and set them up in front of our makeshift “stage”.  Kiros put on a fantastic show, and the men of the prison loved it!  Afterwards, we spent some quality time with the men before they were required to return to their cells.  It was a great evening, and we’d do it again in a heartbeat!




Græse Kirke ─ Frederikssund, DK
(Tuesday, January 24)

On Monday night, we pulled into the yard at Græse Kirke with much anticipation.  We all remembered our last visit to this church so well, and we looked forward to reuniting with our old friends.  Signe, the pastor of the church, welcomed us with open arms.  We stayed in her beautiful home for two days, and enjoyed wonderful times of fellowship there.  On Tuesday afternoon, we taught a group of around 60 confirmation students.  Later that evening ─ after a huge pizza party ─ the guys played an awesome show!  We had a great time at Græse, and sincerely hope we’ll be able to return in the future.




Rudehøj Efterskole ─ Odder, DK
(Wednesday, January 25 ─ Thursday, January 26)

Rudehøj Efterskole was the second of five “repeat visits” this week.  It was nice to see some familiar faces at this school, as well as meet the new students.  We enjoyed a few games of badminton during the afternoon, and had a great time with the concert in the evening.  Just before bedtime, we joined the students for, what they called, “Good Night God Time”.  Around 20 of the students gathered in a small room with one of the teachers and worshiped God together.  It was here that we realized we were in the presence of the man who wrote our very favorite Danish worship song, “Foran Tronen”!  We all felt a little bit star struck, as we’d played this song on numerous occasions throughout the tour!  It was a delight to meet the writer in person.




Efterskolen Helle ─ near Grenå, DK
(Thursday, January 26)

Efterskolen Helle will be a place each one of us will always hold dear to our hearts.  It is a boarding school for eighth through tenth grade students who have social, mental or behavioral disorders.  In Danish, the word “Helle” refers to a safe place.  This school is a haven for those who have not been able to function well at other schools.  This was our second visit to Helle, and we loved it just as much the second time as we did the first.  Most of the students here struggle with English, but we were still able to make some good connections.  The kids loved the concert, and we loved our time spent with them! 




Djurslands Efterskole ─ Fjellerup, DK
(Friday, January 27 ─ Saturday, January 28)

We arrived at Djurslands Efterskole late on Thursday night, and were met with a deep sense of familiarity and comfort.  For Barry, Ryan and I, we felt right at home!  Djurslands was our longest stop on last year’s trip, and each of us could remember the weekend well.  During that weekend we formed so many lasting friendships and shared so many deep, meaningful moments.  We were excited to see what God had in store for this stop the second time around.  And we were not disappointed!  The staff and students welcomed us heartily, and we spent as much time with them as the scheduled allowed.   But teaching five classes during the day, sharing meals with the students, and staying up for hours past the concert still didn’t feel like enough time.  When we had to leave on Saturday afternoon, we all felt as though our time had been cut short.  We love this school so much, and will always hold the friends we’ve made here so close to our hearts.




IMU (Indre Missions Ungdom) ─ Esbjerg, DK
(Saturday, January 28)

This was another small show, but we made the best of it!  We rallied the few kids at the show and organized a game of floor hockey ─ both before and after the concert!  These kids gave us the biggest challenge we’d had to date, when it came to floor hockey in Denmark.  They were impressively good!  They came out on top with a win of 20-19.  It was a great night!  We wrapped up the evening with Aleksander’s family (one of our tour managers) at their beautiful home.   



Svankjær Efterskole ─ Bedsted, DK
(Sunday, January 29 ─ Tuesday, January 31) 

Svankjær Efterskole was the very first stop on last year’s trip to Denmark, and the very last stop this year.  So many firsts happened here!  First game of handball!  First time eating bread and cheese with jam.  First concert in front of a Danish audience and first time sharing our stories with students in Denmark.  We were delighted to be back, and I was even more delighted to discover that one of my closest friends from last year’s trip would be here again!  It was so meaningful to reconnect with her again after a year, and I hope with all my heart that this won’t be our last meeting!  Our second visit to Svankjær Efterskole was awesome, and we hope it won’t be our last!

Ministry Update, Week 2

Odsherreds Efterskole ─ Fårevejle, DK
(Sunday, January 15 ─ Tuesday, January 17)

After our weekend at camp with 56 confirmation students, we returned to Fårevejle to stay with our good friends Peter and Rasmus. They are both teachers at Odsherreds Efterskole, where our next concert would be held.  We ran ourselves ragged at their school, playing sports with the students in every spare moment.  One afternoon we organized a big tournament of basketball and “floorball” (floor hockey).  The undefeated team Kiros triumphed!  It was a great few days, and everyone agreed that we should return next time we’re in Denmark!




Øresund Efterskole ─ Espergærde, DK
(Tuesday, January 17 ─ Thursday, January 19)

On Tuesday evening we arrived at Øresund Efterskole, and were delighted to discover that this school was located on the East coast of Denmark, right on the water.  As we looked out across the sea that night, we could see the lights of Sweden sparkling in the distance.  What a beautiful sight!  The next morning we arose early for breakfast, and prepared to teach two Religion classes that day.  It was an amazing opportunity to discuss Christianity, and share our personal testimonies with the students.  I spoke about identity at the concert in the evening, and we were able to spend lots of time connecting with the kids after the show.


(On the other side of this water is Sweden!)


Husum Kirke ─ Brønsøj, DK
(Thursday, January 19)

On Thursday evening the guys played at Husum Kirke for a Youth Service. This was definitely the smallest show of the tour, but we still had fun meeting some new friends.  After the show, Barry sat down with the students and shared his heart with them.  The pastor, who was translating, said that the boys never gave such full attention during meetings as they did when Barry shared.  Although we didn’t get to spend tons of time with them, we hope and pray that God used us to impact their lives in some way.


Lovsangskonference (Worship Conference) ─ Mariager, DK
(Friday, January 20 ─ Saturday, January 21)

This weekend was a breath of fresh air for all of us!  We found ourselves at a worship conference, hosted by a Danish Bible College.  On Friday evening I played piano and sang with the boys as we lead worship for over 250 passionate Christians from Denmark and around the world.  Later that night the boys played a fantastic concert for a very enthusiastic audience!  Above all, we truly enjoyed the fellowship of new friends.



Idrætsefterskolen Lægården ─ Holsterbro, DK
(Saturday, January 21 ─ Sunday, January 22)

This was a weekend confirmation camp hosted by Strandby Meethodiske Kirke.  The camp was held at a boarding school ─ and we were able to spend time with the students who had stayed at school over the weekend as well.  It was a great time!  The boys were elated when they found out that this school had an intensive gymnastics program… complete with Olympic quality trampolines, a sponge pit, and lots of other fun toys!  Needless to say, there were a few injuries that night.  But none too serious!  We shared a few very meaningful conversations with some of the students, and one in particular will be on my heart for a long time.  I am so amazed by God’s love for these kids, and I am so grateful that He has allowed me to become a part of their stories.

Getting Creative!

Our show at Odsherreds Efterskole was a raging success!  In fact, the students loved it so much that they swarmed our table after the show and almost completely cleaned out our entire merch supply!  We sold out of every single adult sized t-shirt we brought, leaving us with a few girls small shirts, and even fewer girls mediums.  We also sold out of CD’s, but were very happy to discover that we had left an extra box at the YFC base in Århus - hopefully enough to get us through the rest of the tour.

With such a shortage of t-shirts, we had to get creative!  Our tour manager, Asbjørn took Ryan to the store to buy blank white t-shirts and red spray paint, while I started to design a stencil.



We wanted the new design to show our Danish comrades how much we love them and their beautiful country!  After a few hours of crafting, my original stencil ─ made out of cardboard, duct tape and masking tape ─ was ready for a test run!



The shirts turned out better than any of us could have imagined! We love the new design, and so do our Danish friends!  We’re hoping to sell lots of these shirts in the next week.  I like them a lot… perhaps I’ll pick one up for myself!